


Centrifugal

by paynesgrey



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-09
Updated: 2011-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-19 05:06:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/197226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this intimate moment, River wonders if the Doctor believes he can save her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Centrifugal

**Author's Note:**

> This is more AU than canon. Written for "0.45 - With his whole heart" at 100_fairytales on Livejournal.

River gazed out into the sparkling ocean, soaking in the beautiful view as the fresh wind passed through her hair. Behind her, the Doctor watched her, and like him, she imagined he was feeling the same, that they were meeting at a dangling median in their journey.

She didn’t remember this on her timeline, and he didn’t remember it on his. It was spontaneous - anomalous, and the Doctor mirrored her feelings when he told he liked that she too didn’t know what would come next.

Turning around, she studied him for a moment - older, almost the version she remembered just before he _whooshed_ through space and found her younger self for the first time.

Today almost felt like their wedding day.

“That color suits you. I’ve always liked that color on you,” he said, his eyes roaming over her, wanting and nostalgic.

“It’s black, darling. It’s not a color,” she said with a smirk. He looked a little annoyed with her correction, and she remembered when she’d grown to love that expression over the years.

“Isn’t this weird for you, never having this moment with me? Never knowing that we would end up here, on a planet with three red moons in the sky and a beach made of fine crystal?”

“I admit that I enjoy the surprise. I can’t keep track of everything,” she said. “We run in random circles, my love. That’s the fun of it.”

Walking closer to her, he nods and looks out into the water. “Oh, yes, just what I remembered of this place the first time I came here, without you, of course.” He turned to her grinning like a giddy schoolboy on a holiday trip. “The water glows florescent in the moonlight. Just a trick of light and hybrid phosphorous micro-creatures in the water.” He leaned close, the thrill in his voice for such things a constant joy to her. “It’s not always bad being on the bottom of the food chain when you can light up and look cool.”

“So this is why you wanted to take me here,” she said.

“Oh, if it were as simple as that,” he said, tapping her nose. She caught his hand, squeezing tightly, a simple gesture turning urgent. She captured his lips with hers and drew him close. His arms flailed around her, finally settling at home on the small of her back.

“You’re a dirty old man, do you know that?” she whispered in a heady breath.

“Not the worst I’ve been called,” he said, fixated on her eyes. His hands began playing with her hair. “River, River, what are we to do...”

His words rang deeper than she liked, and she knew after they parted ways here they would twirl their separate ways again through time. She would see his death; he would see hers.

She didn’t want it to be tragic, even though it most certainly was.

“Well, I can think of a number of things we can do, but to start off...” She peeled away the thin straps of her long black evening dress, wiggled it over her hips and then let it pool at her feet. She stepped out of her clothes, kicking off her ruby shoes, and feeling the soft crystalline sand under her feet.

She turned from him and padded toward the shimmering lake. She saw the Doctor frown as he slowly followed.

“Have you checked to see if that water is safe yet?” he called to her. “I don’t want you going in and getting hives - or something far worse.”

“You’re so sweet, but I’m sure it’s fine,” she said, quickening her pace and splashing at the edge of the water. He watched as she laughed, filled with gaiety and release. She turned back at him, his eyes mesmerized by her glowing smile as they fell over her slender form. “Come on, Doctor! Don’t tell me you took me to a planet with a florescent lake without some thought of skinny dipping!”

His jacket already off, he removed the tie, the shoes, and awkwardly wriggled out of the rest of his clothes. “Oh, you know me so well.” He took off in a run, hooting like a madman and guffawing when he splashed into the water head first, and then coming up and shaking his wet hair about like a shaggy dog. River screamed, splashing water on his face in retaliation, and laughing as the florescent color stuck to his skin and hair.

She swam close to him, the water coming up over her breasts as he bobbed in front of her.

“I have a feeling that I’m going to glow in odd places for a long time before it fades away.” She giggled, her arms finding their place around his neck again. The glittering water stilled between them, shifting slightly when the Doctor leaned in and stole another kiss. His lips trailed down her neck, sucking on her pulse and staying there as he admired the beat against his lips. The life of humanity - of the impossible and incredible River Song, in his hands and belonging to him as dear as the Tardis herself.

He pulled back, looking at her dazed expression as she pushed away a wet tendril of hair from his forehead. He kissed her again, pressing hard and urgent, and she responded just as hungry, ready, and delighting in this odd time where they held little secrets, and no future and past could touch them here. This was the nexus of _them_ , and they thanked all of time and space for this moment of unknowing.

The water slid fluidly around them, circling and cocooning as she moved flush against him. The water felt hotter - and he didn’t know if that was science or just them. She wrapped her legs around him - strong, sturdy legs that he knew from many years of running, either toward or from danger. Oh, how he loved those legs.

Bobbling, shifting, she pressed close to him and he quickly found her, sliding inside her through the water, fitting them both perfectly together. Oh, they had many moments - crazy and asynchronous, like this, solidifying their union even if time threatened to claw them apart.

Feeling her, pushing and rocking inside her, the Doctor realized how he could love River Song this much. It wasn’t just about their crazy time lines, the mystery, the flirting or how he needed her just as much as she needed him. He still didn’t know if she was really human; he always wondered if science was really fooling him about who she really was. Should he hate her? Sometimes he did.

But not like this, not with her willingness, her trust in him, and her heart in his hands.

This consummation - well, it was somewhat different for Time Lords he supposed. He linked with her; mind and body, and he saw their timeline, hazing through her mind to his - a wave of euphoria tingling through his nerves and into the cadence of both his hearts.

Her legs tightened around him as he moved. He’d lost track of time - was this love fast or had they been like this for hours? He couldn’t know - he’d felt like he’d been within River like this for as long as he could remember. She was a part of him, an extension of self and a treasure at the end of the galaxy that he stole the blue box for in the first place. All without knowing the true reason himself.

“Doctor...” she moaned, throwing her head back, pushing and pulling him deeper inside her. The water had flared up between them, the green glow brighter under their dazed eyes. “My Doctor...” she breathed, tightening around him - taking him deeper than ever before, and then leaning back with a satisfied shiver. He kissed the curve of her tilted neck, but not before finding her lips again.

He held her for some time as they waded in the water. She nuzzled against his cheek and he felt the stretch of her smile against his skin.

“Let’s go back before this glowing becomes a permanent souvenir on our bodies.”

River chuckled. “You think that could happen?”

“I don’t know. No, well, yes - maybe,” he said, and she laughed again. Taking his hand in hers, she drew him to the shoreline and pulled him down on top of her in the sand.

“Blimey, even the sand glitters green in the moonlight. Forgotten that bit,” he said, looking around impressed.

“It’s lovely. I’ll remember it always,” she said, meeting his eyes as he fluffed her hair. He stared at her, and she could almost feel his mind buzzing. She traced a finger down his cheek. “Doctor...do you sometimes believe that you can save me?”

He froze, drawing his fingers away from her hair. He sighed, glancing away with guilt for a moment before meeting her stare again.

“Save you...I can’t even find you properly in time,” he grumbled.

“It frustrates you, I know. But do you think you could save me? From the woman I’m supposed to become - the woman you can’t trust and the woman who does bad things.” Her voice stopped short. “The woman you someday won’t know.”

“Of course I can’t save you, River Song! I could try, I could destroy planets and wipe out civilizations if it just meant I could save you, but you know I won’t do it. You know - right now - I’m already too late,” he said, and he leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Listen to me - you are this brilliant paradox wrapped into an enigma wrapped into a conundrum, and I’m too old and too foolish to ever deny such a challenge, but... I think, whatever I try to do, you River Song, would escape me someway and somehow. You would never allow yourself to be saved; you would never change and by goodness, I wouldn’t want you too. I will probably fail you someday, and you’ll understand me and trust me, and you’ll smile and resolve to your fate. I’ll hate you for it. I’ll hate you for so many things but I’ll hate you more than you won’t let me save you.”

He scoffed. “I suppose this is why I love you.”

She drew his head against her chest, and he spooned around her, holding her. He sighed against her, but she did not see tears. She supposed it was too early yet for him to cry for her, but someday she could see it happening.

But today he told her he loved her, and she’d never quite heard it this way before - with a confession of the soul, with the weight of the universe and the life of River Song piercing at the impenetrable fortress of the lonely God’s hearts.

River closed her eyes, and she rocked him against her soothingly. “I love you too, Doctor. Always.”

He sighed against her chest. The green hue of the sand began to fade dully as the light of the moon escaped from the marble blue morning. She kissed him and he didn’t sleep.

He held her and she refused to let him go. She could feel the energy of the Tardis nudging them.

Fickle, cold and merciless Time wouldn’t let them rest for long. Their fates were already spinning them away.

END


End file.
